Just returned from a visit to paradise, beach house on the ocean, beautiful pool and jacuzzi.  The deck upstairs seated white, wicker chairs that rocked by themselves in the ocean breeze- which was relentless and so relaxing. The first night the moon lit up the majestic waves as they crashed violently into the sandy beach-there was no creature hiding from the light of the moon that night! As days went on, the moon began to hide behind the clouds. Every day I went looking for the moon , but it was hiding. Many days had passed and lo there it was tossed upon the clouds, only now like a galleon sailing in the night sky. I remembered the words from “The Highwayman” by Alfred Noyes … “The moon was a ghostly galleon ..tossed upon cloudy seas…” I tried to take a picture of it but was unable to ..it slipped away under the clouds that carried it to another place…hiding.. A new day began as the sun burst open the horizon and brilliant colors of pinks, reds, yellows shimmered across the water. That galleon, never to be seen again!

What is brokenness to you? Is it something that is necessary for growth, life, or our faith? I am not talking about breaking someone’s person, as what happens in abuse. “There is a physical brokenness that is the result of human despair. I’m talking about bereavement, emotional pain, anguish that comes from physical afflictions. Yet the brokenness spoken of by Isaiah and the Psalmist refers to something other than human despair. They are speaking of spiritual brokenness.” (Wilkerson 4/26/2010) This speaks of a grieving of our spirits that any of us can sense when we look upon people who are making lots of mistakes with their choices for their lives. There seems to be blindness on their part and nothing that anyone says will change the course of their actions- except, of course if they, (themselves) stop; realize that they are on a path to destruction, turn the other way and change the course in history, change the course of their destiny.” If only you had accepted the things I said to you! It would have brought you my peace, my hope ,and purpose for your lives.” (Wilkerson 4/26/2010) I see so many lives like this. Lives that never choose to receive the life that they are supposed to have,  it often makes me cry. “Brokenness is also humility, and contriteness, and we do need such brokenness to keep walking in faith.” (Wilkerson 4/10)

Some of us may feel pummeled by those who continue to hurt or wound us inadvertently or willfully, day in and day out. Memories can also haunt us causing old wounds, unforgiveness, to spring up again and again. You are not alone! It seems like that child rises up inside of us and cries out for the same size piece of candy, or the same time alone with someone who nurtures us, or ample time with a favorite toy instead of practice time at the piano. Sometimes there is no candy, there are no nurturers, and there was never any toys in the house growing up. This is a great breeding ground of pain. True forgiveness is realizing the pain, grieving the loss of that thing that is causing the pain and saying “I choose to let you go”. I will not hold the memory of this inside of me. I will not seek revenge. We may very well need to “let go” several times a day and move forward. But in the end, we will be free, and the other person or (persons) will be in God’s hands.

Every once and awhile, all of us need a lifeline. We get busy, we get tired and for one reason or another, we feel empty. This is true of all people of every walk of faith. It is great to know that through the strength of our God (Jesus), there is a chance to have new hope and a new beginning. What happens when we can not find the reality of our place- in who we are in Christ? We sometimes need a lifeline. The reason that I placed the lyrics of the worship leader Sarah Kelly below, “At About Midnight” is that, the day I was led to hear that song on You Tube , it spoke to me in such a way that I began to feel alive in my gifts again. Don’t get me wrong I love, and I am sold out to Jesus and His work, but just sometimes we need His lifeline tossed to us to tell us we are on the right track. This song was written as a cry from a world of physical abuse, I know the advocacy that I do is the right thing to do, for all those who are still stuck in a much darker place. This was my lifeline this week due to my calling, I hope that you find your lifeline, it is not true that we always have to be perfect, He loves us just the way that we are! Check out her video maybe it will speak to you too.

At about midnight I’ll call
At about midnight-I’ll call out your name
Cause I need you beside me
Through these seasons of change
At about midnight awaiting this dawn
Cause I’ll find contentment just singing your songs
Here in this valley-where the shadows lead the way-Yes I know that you’re with me
Where the past meets today.
Seasons they come and they go.
Seasons they come and they go, yes
But because you are with me now-things will turn out alright–
And at about midnight -awaiting this dawn yes I’ll find contentment just singing your songs.
Here in this valley where the shadows lead the way.
Bridge
And I don’t understand this path that I’m on.
It’s like I’m looking down at the sun.
Turn me around
I’m all turned around again.
Oh-oh-oh
And at about midnight awaiting this dawn
Cause I’ll find contentment just singing out your songs
Here in this valley where the shadows lead the way-yes I know that you are with me now where the past meets- today-repeat
So at about midnight I’ll call out your name.
Check out Sarah Kelly -Live You Tube -At About Midnight
hope I heard all lyrics right.