Reaching The Truth


There was a famous line in a movie, “A Few Good Men”, that bellowed, “You can’t handle the truth!”We all have our own ways of interpreting what that line would mean to us, personally. To many people, using denial and living in denial is how they cope , so if you get too close to the truth with them, it makes them feel unsafe, and they shut down. Most victims of domestic violence , while they struggle in the state of entrapment , cope in denial. The truth is stark and glaring, yet they feel trapped in this cycle of pain and deep wounds develop almost daily. The only logic one may grope for is- “this is not really happening to me. I do not know how to get out of this, I should not be living like this”, but the relational cycle of addiction continues. They pray that sometime in the future , something will have to happen along the way that will make this stop! The same is true for victims of sexual abuse. “Something will have to happen along the way to make this stop!” The sudden shock, however, is that when you have finally come to the strength to reveal the truth about what has happened to you, your truth is not easily accepted , no matter what the circle of onlookers may explain it away as.  The truth, emerging out of the recesses of pain and hiding; the truth is what sets us free!! Years went by , and the secrets were never disclosed, the truth did not make you feel safe. Once you gain enough strength to bring things out into the open, be aware that there are those who can not handle the truth, who may place shame , dehumanize you and call you a liar for finally bringing these memories to the surface. Stepping out of denial puts some people in a place, where now; they are not the only people who end up in denial. It’s a crying shame when this type of reaction happens, because it does not convey value, acceptance, courage and strength to those who definitely need it the most. It leaves the survivor’s thinking”You can’t handle the truth!”

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