It is my love that I am looking for.
I am standing at the door..I choose to walk in.
My head is drenched from the evening dew.

I have so much love to give, he has stolen my heart.

He convinces me that without him I am nothing, I can never find a way.

He twists my thoughts..I am confused..is it true?
He takes away my dignity, my pride….
Could this be my love who has stolen my heart?
He has taken away my courage and my confidence…I feel so hopeless..
So hard to believe…I allowed this…he has stolen my soul.

My heart stood still when he spoke to me..when I closed the door… my darling disappeared… there was no love at all….then I was alone in my pain.

So I called out your name…..yes, I  called out your name…you took away my shame.

So much of our lives we are impacted by the constraints that various people, places, and things put upon us. There are times when what we thought would make us free to be ourselves may just turn into another constraint… for one reason or another. I think that may be why the “hippie” era was so interesting -that of course…in a world filled with needs to maintain status quo and to put food in the children’s mouths….led a free generation to a working class dynasty, and it seems so hard to look back after that. I love to say “home free” and in reality…really be home and free…free to be yourself…. free to love…free to laugh. So many families are so bound up with unfulfilled dreams, anger and other pain that even if they have a moment to feel happy…. it does not match the circumstance with the home and the folks that are playing that hide and seek game. Where are we really….are we “home free”…or are we home and in bondage. We all cry out to be real and free to be who we want to be.

Just in the past week, I have spoken to several women who are crying out with desperation for a relationship. The old “child chant”-‘he loves me…he loves me not’…sometimes rings as if to haunt throughout a woman’s life. In our chant there is a longing to receive that “one true love”. “What threatens this nation is the fact that many people have become so frustrated that they have altered the Master’s plan to fit their own situation and needs(TD Jakes).” Consequently, we have lovers and do not really love, and we rush ahead of God to find our own “true love”, when the real love that God meant for us to be with has to settle for a second best, and what is even worse so do we. “That is what we do when we enter into “pseudo” love affairs. They mimic marriage and actually mock it. I realize that many of these pseudo relationships are sincere and meaningful to the participants. But, it is possible to be sincerely wrong (TD Jakes quote).” I always tell the girls wait patiently for what is best for you, refuse to settle for second best!!!

Hope literally means to desire with expectation of fulfillment, to wish, to want, confident expectation, to place confidence, rely…and a number of other definitions. When we lose our hope, we lose all desire with expectation of fulfillment…we stop believing that what we long for will be fulfilled, we stop wishing, wanting, we are not confident to expect any good thing. Think about what gets your motor going every day. Is it work, going for an appointment? Meeting a friend or a loved one for lunch? Finishing an art project , praying, studying? What if there is absolutely nothing for you to do but eat, sleep, and breathe? What is the expectation then? I believe we always need to expect something good, wait patiently for the fulfillment of whatever that something is. What are we waiting for? Something good!!!! We need to guard against letting go of hope- many things that are counterproductive for our contentment , peace and livelihood…we do need to let go of…but always try to expect something good is about to happen and you will not let go of your hope.

A couple of days ago I was coming in from parking my car in the garage and there scurrying down my driveway (which is about 50 feet off the main street in my city) was a mother, woodland duck and four baby ducks. They were waddling…  as if annoyed by my presence… up the middle of my driveway. Yes, you guessed it… they were heading for the busy main street. My heart moved with compassion as I pondered what was about to happen. How strange…what are they doing here in the middle of this busy city, there are no ponds, no fountains with enough water to call home.

Many of us when roaming in unfamiliar territory may find ourselves running straight for a very destructive end as well. …my mom used to say “don’t run in the woods in the dark as you can not see the cliffs or drop offs and you may run into them”. All of us face new territory… transitions in our lives are always an opportunity to grow. Always use wisdom to think before you act, make wise choices.