Freedom! My first inclination was to simply post the word freedom, then leave your definition up to you! Freedom is what you determine it to be. Freedom of choice, to think , act,  speak the way you want to in any environment. Absence of domination, self rule, autonomy, not to be enslaved, to be released , delivered, liberated. Freedom to not be subject to, or affected by another person, place or thing. Independent of fate or necessity , breathing space, elbow room, latitude, free rein, carte blanche………the list goes on and on. Are you free? I was not free for the many years that I lived in abuse. I was in bondage to another person’s demands , wishes and desires. What is worse, I had learned to accept the entrapment- as so many other people have. There is a plateau that is reached emotionally- where one sees no other way out and therefore adopts acceptance that this is the way things are going to be. You feel trapped!

There is freedom , there is a way out! You do not have to be programmed to the wishes and desires of other people places or things anymore! Find yourself again! Start your new life and define what it is about you that you have missed, and fight to regain all that you have lost!!!! Refuse to let people , places and things to keep you in bondage anymore!!! Be free!

Fall is my favorite time of year , it is the end of something old and the beginning of something new. At least in Central New York all living plants either go into hibernation for the winter season, or the foliage dies off completely….in anticipation of a whole new life when spring comes! Do not settle for dead promises, hibernating dreams, instead… expect with all anticipation… that we are on the brink of something all together different, something new for this next year. Promise yourself to go forward to receive all of your possibilities, all of your dreams….do not allow yourself to be robbed of what your destiny is…go forward with only new beginnings for the new year!!!!

I always think that joy can change a moment. Am I choosing to embrace each moment with joy , as if it may be the last moment like this one? Do we think in the now or do we look over our shoulders with regrets and fears? Maybe we project ourselves into tomorrow or years from now – wondering what will happen that may rob our joy-all along not accepting the joy of living in that very moment.  Today I encourage you all to live in the now. with joy, absorb each bit of life before it slips away from you. I am very thankful to be alive today! Thankful to watch my grandchildren grow up into brilliant , creative catalysts of world change, they are all so gifted. Having a wonderful time  today with them, embracing each moment with joy!! Have a wonderful time today, the time of your life , all the time giving thanks for all that you have been given!  Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

There was a famous line in a movie, “A Few Good Men”, that bellowed, “You can’t handle the truth!”We all have our own ways of interpreting what that line would mean to us, personally. To many people, using denial and living in denial is how they cope , so if you get too close to the truth with them, it makes them feel unsafe, and they shut down. Most victims of domestic violence , while they struggle in the state of entrapment , cope in denial. The truth is stark and glaring, yet they feel trapped in this cycle of pain and deep wounds develop almost daily. The only logic one may grope for is- “this is not really happening to me. I do not know how to get out of this, I should not be living like this”, but the relational cycle of addiction continues. They pray that sometime in the future , something will have to happen along the way that will make this stop! The same is true for victims of sexual abuse. “Something will have to happen along the way to make this stop!” The sudden shock, however, is that when you have finally come to the strength to reveal the truth about what has happened to you, your truth is not easily accepted , no matter what the circle of onlookers may explain it away as.  The truth, emerging out of the recesses of pain and hiding; the truth is what sets us free!! Years went by , and the secrets were never disclosed, the truth did not make you feel safe. Once you gain enough strength to bring things out into the open, be aware that there are those who can not handle the truth, who may place shame , dehumanize you and call you a liar for finally bringing these memories to the surface. Stepping out of denial puts some people in a place, where now; they are not the only people who end up in denial. It’s a crying shame when this type of reaction happens, because it does not convey value, acceptance, courage and strength to those who definitely need it the most. It leaves the survivor’s thinking”You can’t handle the truth!”

Fear can hinder our ability to move forward with our lives .  People go through dry spells in their lives and during these times of uncertainty and licking our wounds- we may fall prey to people who speak negativity into our lives. We are looking to do the right thing , make the right decisions and we have all kinds of people waiting in the wings who seem to know what you should be doing. It is important to step back and remember the goals that we are aiming for and furthermore we should set boundaries around our thought process, to keep our thought focus on those things that will move us forward with our goals. One naysayer may keep you waiting at the gate of your success if you buy what they are speaking into your life. Always check in with yourself, is what I am doing bringing me closer to my goal or is it bringing me farther away?  Most importantly, say no to fear and yes to successful living, we do not have to be afraid to move forward with our lives, rather embrace change and the transition will be more exciting.